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Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

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If you’ve ever started and stopped a diet (and started and stopped another one), this blog post is for you.

You know how when you start going keto and you’re super on the program? You’re skipping buns at the BBQ and you have avocado and bacon with every meal and you even start losing some weight?

But then, you go on vacation or you go to that work-thingy one Friday afternoon and you just can’t keep it up?

We all do it sometimes. We try to follow a plan that is just not gonna fit into our life.  

Now I’m all for getting a kick-start on your healthy lifestyle (it’s actually why I designed my 14 Day Full Body Reset), but if you’re making dietary changes with no plan on how it’ll fit into your life, you my friend, may be headed for disaster.

It can also lead you to feel sad or worthless about yourself because you’re holding yourself to an impossible, unproductive standard.

This type of strict plan can sometimes come hand in hand with all-or-nothing thinking.

It’s when you don’t let yourself (or, sometimes, anyone else) to land in the middle.

If things aren’t perfect, they’re a failure. Or worse, you’re a failure.

It can also lead you to feel sad or worthless about yourself because you’re holding yourself to an impossible, unproductive standard.

For example, consider that you decide to go on a diet.

So you go out for lunch with a friend, and you end up ordering the fries instead of the salad and you have a piece of cake for dessert.

An all-or-nothing response would see this as a failure, and could lead to harsh judgments of yourself: “I totally blew my diet with this cake. I knew I couldn’t handle this new plan. I guess I should just eat anything I want”.

Now, the first thing I would say about this is DON’T GO ON A DIET because, as you know, diets blow. They do!

When you can find a way of eating that’s healthy, do-able for life and actually gets you meeting your weight loss goals, that’s the jackpot.

But that aside, you could be your own worst enemy if you find yourself in the trap of all-or-nothing thinking.

If you keep up this perfectionist-type eating plan, you might be headed for the dreaded diet cycle: going on a plan, doing well, then getting off track, feeling bad, re-gaining the weight aaannnd completely going back to square one.

Blech.

But here’s the good news.

There’s one change you can do that will give you more freedom and help you reach your weight loss goals.

Challenge all-or-nothing thinking by treating yourself compassionately with a script flip.

Would you harshly judge a friend for eating a slice of cake? Unlikely. So why would you do that to yourself?

Avoid looking success as either/or, where everything has to go perfectly to achieve success.

Try looking at success as and, an ongoing process of growth and change:

For example, an old script that plays super easily in your head might sound something like:

“Uhhhgh. I can’t believe I ate that cake and had a bun with my burger. I was doing so good and feel like I blew it.”

But a more compassionate, somewhere-in-the-middle way of thinking might be to flip the script on the harsh critique and go for something a little more sustainable.

Like this:

“I ate that piece of cake, which yah, ok wasn’t totally in-line with my plan but hey it’s not a complete catastrophe. I’ll eat a healthy dinner to get myself back on track.”

Ding ding ding! See the difference? Ok, it’s pretty hard not to notice.

are you your own worst enemy

Now you might be thinking it’s easier said that done, this whole changing these automatic scripts in our heads. Well, you’d be right!

We all have a judge in our head, firing off not-so-helpful criticisms all-day long.

But some people’s judges are louder and more obnoxious than others. So if you know you’re someone who has a harsh inner critic, judging your every not-so-great move, you may want to start looking a little deeper into what is going on.

And if you’re looking to go a bit deeper, there’s a ton of books out there that dive into it. One I just read you may want to check out is by Jen Sincero called You Are a Badass.

Warning: her writing style (or language) isn’t for everyone but I really like how she breaks down the process of identifying those self-sabotaging thoughts and then changing them for the better.

If you’re ready for some “tough love”, it might be right up your alley.

Hugs and high fives,

~April

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